Divorce, a process that is never easy, whether the split was amicable or not.
It can be a time of difficult transition. There is a loss of support, a void. Everything is changing, morphing into what will be your new regular.
One of the most important things to consider is your emotional state. For most individuals, there may be a lot of emotions surfacing – anger, guilt, feeling like a failure. Just know that it is ok for you to feel whatever it may be that you’re feeling.
It is a grieving process, so let yourself feel and work through any emotion that could arise for you. Feel it, witness it, let it go. Letting go of anything you may be feeling allows space for healing and the opportunity to progress.
Your way of life is changing and probably rather drastically, so finding ways to move on and re-establish a sense of normalcy is especially crucial. Here are a few ideas to help you move forward:
- Surround yourself with support. Lean on loved ones and longtime friends, make a few new friends or even join a therapy group if you are called to do so.
- Schedule yourself time for nurturing and self-care. Often dealing with things on an emotional level can be exhausting. Take a nice hot bath with Epsom salts, allow yourself a nap if you feel it’s necessary, take a walk outside and get some sunshine on your face.
- Set new goals for your life. Do things that make you feel better about yourself. Go back to school, maybe you have an unfinished degree or want to learn something new. Pick out a new hobby, or perhaps try something you’ve wanted to do for a while like a paint night or that kickboxing class at the gym.
- Give yourself a makeover! A fresh hairstyle or a new outfit can work wonders for the self-esteem if you’ve been feeling low. It’s ok to feel good and take pride in your appearance.
- Keep your mind occupied and keep yourself busy. Workout, clean the house, read a book, travel to somewhere you’ve never been before. Take this opportunity to renew your zest for life.
- Re-enter the dating pool only if and when you are ready. Only you can determine when it’s appropriate to dip your toes back in. There is no timeline; there is no plan, just whenever it feels right for you.
Above all else, be gentle with yourself. The transition period is different for everyone, so remember that whether it takes you one month or one year to feel a sense of normalcy, that is what you need. Let your body and mind adjust at a rate that works for you, that brings you fulfillment, and that makes you happy.